Arranged Marriages

Date: June 25, 2009
Location: Spring Valley Hotel, Mannarkadd, Kerala, India
Accomplishments: We visited a school, met Sonu's mother, brother Soni, sister Sona, and Shahul's mother. We rode motorcycles!

We enjoy a few masala dosas with pea masala then we wait outside our hotel. Sonu and Shahul pull up to our hotel as promised at 9:00. Chai tea is a warm beginning to our day together. Sonu and Shahul ride their motorcycles. We follow behind on our bicycles. The English school is only two kilometers up the hill. The English school is tucked inside a building on the main vein going through town. We ride the motorbikes/bicycles through the building and park them behind the building. Following Sonu and Shahul up the stairs, I feel a bit of anxiety in my stomach. i know that in just moments, the students will enter and I will feel my own uniqueness in their culture. Being inside myself, I easily forget how much I stand out. Sonu and Shahul tell us to wait as they want us to surprise the director. They tell her about our arrival in mother tongue and she beams when we enter her office. Her English is fluent and easy to understand. She informs us that she learned English in London and speaks nine languages.
"The students are interested with you. Please speak with them. Have them practice their English." I turn around and I see that I am surrounded. Little by little, the students arrive, piling in the director's office to take a peak at us (the strange aliens that landed randomly in their school). I feel like a normal boring average American girl, but to them, I am strange. I cannot imagine how I make them feel. I wonder how they perceive me through their eyes. I would like to be one of the school girls just for a day, just to feel, see, be her, in her culture to understand it. The director invites us to come and sit in the front of the classroom. All the girls sit together on two long benches in the front of the classroom. The boys sit together or stand in the back of the room. All of them are young adults or teenagers. I feel a little anxious in front of the classroom with so many eyes on me, but soon my teacher mode is turned on and I easily and slowly explain in clear English where I am traveling to. I talk about my daily life as a teacher. The director compliments me on my beautiful accent and asks me to say all the months and days of the week. I am glad to be of help and I have the students repeat me. Next, she encourages the students to ask us questions.
"What are your favorite foods in America?"
"America is a big mixture of cultures, There are hamburgers, Italian foods like spaghetti and pizzas, Chinese foods, noodles, rice, Mexican tacos... There is even Indian food! In Michigan the fruits are very different. Here, In Kerala India, you have many mangoes, bananas, coconuts. In Michigan, we do not have these growing from the trees because these fruits need tropical weather to grow. In Michigan, we have apples, cherries, grapes, strawberries, and peaches. We have all these that we can pick from the trees. The fruits I very different," I explain.

"Is there a caste system? What is the marriage arrangement and ceremony like?" a girl asks.
"In America, our culture is different," I begin to explain, "Marriage is not arranged. There is no caste system. We can pick who we want to marry by dating and having a girlfriend or boyfriend."
"Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" the students clamor as if I had stated a swear word.
"We feel that Americans have many divorces and that children are not loyal and united with their family," a boy comments.
"Sometimes this is true,"I reply.
"In India, the marriage commitment is forever. The two families are joined and they will help the couple stay together," another boy adds.

Dear reader, please see the link below about advantages and disadvantages to arranged marriages and freedom of choice marriages. The conversation with the students about marriages prompted me to research more in depth on the internet and the article has great insight into the faults of both cultures.

http://berchmans.tripod.com/arrange.html

As a teacher, one of the greatest pleasures of traveling is seeing children in the schools and how the schools and how they learn.
Thank you so much, Sonu and Shahul for sharing your classroom with us and reaching out to us. You are giving us a little piece of your culture. Is is a priceless gift that will stay in our memories forever.